shane i worry.

Shane,

I worry about you. I have come to find out that this is just what I do as a mommy.

Before you were born I worried that you were too small. I worried if I didn’t feel you kick “12” times in your most active hour that something was wrong. I worried I didn’t eat enough(hence to 47 lbs. I gained with you :/). I worried that if I took a bath that you would boil. I worried that if I had caffeine you would have ADD & it would be all my fault. I worried that you wouldn’t be okay while I was giving birth. I worried your entire birth that your heart rate would never stabilize.

And then after you were born I worried some more-I worried you would just stop breathing( & I would wake up every hour just to make sure you were still breathing). I worried your swaddling blanket would suffocate you. I worried that you weren’t eating enough. I worried that you would never roll over. I worried that you weren’t big enough. I worried that someone would drop you & that someone would be me! I worried that your eyes would never focus- you were crossed-eyed for awhile there. I worried that you spit up too much. I worried that you would never let me get sleep again-(haha, but you did & I am so proud of you for that :)! )

Now, I worry that you are still not eating enough. I worry if I am giving you enough vegetables- you like fruit so much better & sometimes it is just easier. I worry that I am not reading to you enough. I worry that I let you watch TV it is only baby einstein & it is only every once in awhile, but I still worry! I worry that you aren’t growing fast enough. I worry that I do not pray for you enough. I worry that I am not a good enough mom for you. I worry that you are bored. I worry that you will get sick. I worry that you will bump your head on our fireplace of DEATH-all brick  & sharp corners make for a dangerous spot for a baby to be playing! Don’t worry though because I surround it with pillows every morning :)

But, after all this worrying I have come to realize that it is not my job to worry about you- you are God’s & He has given you to me as a gift here on earth to take care of & even though SO MANY times I am tempted to worry, worry, worry I need to just let go of my worries & give them to God. I have to remind myself of this every day-!  My concern for you will never stop because you are part of me- you have my heart & that will never change, but to the best of my ability I am trying to stop worrying about so many things. I love you little man & I want to be the best mommy I can be for you!

xoxox,

Your mommy

Philippian 4:6 ” Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God “

take time.

Windows are open. Sunny is shining & it is just a beautiful day. I love living in Southern California!

Finally got a jogging stroller/hitch for my bike so now little man & I can exercise together! Doesn’t a morning run just change your whole day? I know it does for me I have more energy & I am just in a better mood. Just taking that 30 mins to just step outside & release those endorphins…ahh amazing.  I would say I get about twice as much done compared to the days when I am just feeling plain LAZY! Note to self: Remember how you feel Sarah when you take the time to exercise!!! Plus I only have 5 more lbs till pre- pregnancy weight- Almost there! So I really got to kick it into high-gear to get these last couple lbs off. Oh the joys of being a momma :) that is okay though because EVERY pound is worth it for my little  man!

So everybody get out there & get healthy :) Taking a little time for yourself it really always does pay off!

Til next time,

Sarah

Unconditional love

Shane,

I have started writing to you because I want you to always know how much your daddy & I love you! As you get older there are going to be things that we will tell you that you won’t understand, but I want you to always know that we have your best interest at heart.

I am so thankful for your little life! Becoming a mommy has grown me in ways i did not even know possible. You are such a joy to your dad & me :) We just love seeing you laugh & smile. You are our favorite person to be with. You are God’s special gift to us here on earth.

Becoming a mommy has taught me so many things, but the greatest truth I have come to learn is God’s amazing, unconditional love to send His only son for our sins! Shane, I would not sacrifice your life for anyone- I would never even consider it. Someday when you are a father you will understand the deep unconditional love you have for your child, but God loved us so much that He put the sins of all the world on His perfect, sinless Son as a gift to you and me. I pray everyday that you will accept God’s gift of His Son. There is nothing in this world that would make me happier than knowing that you have a haeart that loves & trust’s in God.

I love you baby boy,

xoxo Mommy

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.”

a lesson for every year.

This was written a couple weeks ago on my birthday as I was reflecting on my 24th year of life…eeek I turned 24 this year I can not even believe that I am that OLD. I know, I know it really is not that old, but I finally feel like time is catching up with me. Oh well. I am so grateful to be able to celebrate another year of life happy & healthy.

So anyways, here are 24 simple lessons I wrote down that I have learned about relationships, love & life:

1. You love the way that you want to be loved.

2. Women & Men are COMPLETE opposites!

3. True friends are few & far between, but I am blessed to have some of the best friends anyone could ask for.

4. There is nothing more satisfying that a right relationship with God.

5. In marriage, friendship is more important than romance.

6. When you become a parent for the first time you will experience unconditional love.

7. You don’t always have to learn the hard way.

8. Your siblings really will become some of your best & truest friends.

9. Distance can make the heart grow fonder, but doesn’t always.

10. Material possessions NEVER brings lasting satisfaction.

11. God always provides & takes care of His children.

12. Time doesn’t stop so try to enjoy EVERY day & moment because they pass too quickly.

13. Holidays are STRESSFUL & CHAOTiC, but sometimes that is what makes them memorable.

14. A compliment & kind word go a LONG way.

15. Exercise will always brighten your day.

16. You are your toughest critic.

17. Life isn’t always about you.

18. Communications is the KEY to any relationship.

19.You never REALLY learn until you REALLY want to.

20. Bitterness makes you ugly.

21. Becoming truly grateful will change your life.

22. Life is hard, but always worth it.

23.Ignorance truly is bliss –well most of the time.

24. Love is a choice & one you have to make every day.

So here they are– I am sure this is not anything you haven’t heard before, but things to take to heart nonetheless.Let me know a couple valuable lessons you have learned. Would love to hear from you!

-Sarah