birthday boy.

Shane Bop,

Today is your 1st birthday & there are so many things racing through my mind- so many memories. I remember at this time last year I was wondering if you would ever come. What it would be like to hold you for the first time. How I would feel when we first laid eyes on each other- the little baby that I had been carrying inside of me for nine long months. I remember when I first held you I just felt complete & overwhelmed with how healthy & beautiful you were- AMAZED that you grew inside of me & were able to survive- it is still amazes me & is a miracle from God.

There is so many things I could write about this last year of your life. Everything that I have learned. Everything that you have taught me. You have changed my life in ways I could never explain. You have showed me love & made me feel love that I have never felt before. It is like I see the good in the world all over again because when I look at your sweet innocent face that is all you see. You see Mommy & Daddy & all is well- that is all you know. I know that you will not always have that kind of innocence, but I am enjoying it while I can. You have made me a better person. I know that I LOVE deeper because of you- you have turned me into a total mush- the people in my life that I love I have to tell- I never want to leave a word unsaid. You have made me more appreciative of the people around me how fragile life is & how it is such a gift to have had this last year with you. You have made me appreciative of every day. You bring light & joy to EVERY day. Your smile & laugh mean the world to me & I know they always will.

Little man, you are not my baby boy anymore- you are my 1 year old. I can not even believe it,but I will always remember on this day every year how it felt to touch you for the first time, the joy & love that overcame me when I became a mom, the way you laid in my arms & how you found comfort in my touch & voice. my heart is so full of love for you & it always will be. happy birthday to my sweet boy.

love always,

your momma xoxoxoxo

one month

two months

three monthsfour months

six months

six months

seven months

eight months

nine months

ten months

eleven months

1 year old!!!

a perfect birth-day.

He is AWESOME!

I loved today. I loved every minute of it. Today we got to spend the day as a family of three celebrating Shane’s 1st birthday :) I can not even remember the last time we were able to set aside time to just spend with the three of us-We have just been so busy since the last week of July with family vacation, a wedding, family visiting, packing & moving that the time just has not been there :( But today was so refreshing just being able to spend the WHOLE day with my two loves.

For a couple months I have had in my mind that we would take Shane to Disneyland(the happiest place on earth) for his actual birthday :) Well, with buying the house & spending so much more money on it than we anticipated cash has been a little tight & we just didn’t feel right spending the money when we knew Shane would only be able to go on a couple rides. So we came up with an alternate plan- lunch & then we would just go to down town disney & take some pictures & get a couple treats- well as we were walking this man came up to me & asked if we bought tickets for the park yet & i told him we weren’t planning on going & he proceeded to hand me a ticket :) :) Before I could really even thank him he was gone & I felt so blessed. God provided us with the perfect day at Disney. I am so thankful that we were able to go & that we were able to get one of us in for FREE :) God isΒ  good.

Here are some snap shots of our perfect day together:

starting the day off with some play-time in the park

my sweet little first birthday boy

a little snack before heading out for the day :)

our lunch spot- the counter custom burgers//amazing!

silly momma & baby

my loves//the cutest guys i ever did see.

train at disney.

shane & j on dumbo- amazing moment

not too crazy about his mickey ears on, but he is looking oh so cute ;)

I can not believe that exactly one year ago my little man came into my life. I had such an amazing day celebrating with him & Justin. I could not have asked for a more perfect day together & I am so thankful for the journey of being a momma & how much it has changed who I am today. I love you Shanners! Happy 1st Birthday :)

one & robots.

this past saturday we were able to celebrate shanes 1st birthday with our close family & friends. it was such a fun-filled day. i am so thankful for all the people in our lives that love our family & our little shane & who came out to celebrate his birthday with us.

just my two favorite guys in this whole wide world.

dessert table spread :)

adorable cake made by my talented little sister of too sweet treats

birthday invitations

robot fuel water bottles

a little thank you bag

rock em sock em robots :)

table settings:

when shane was just two months old i found these little robot toys on sale at target & i they were just too cute not to buy & after that i knew i had found the theme for his first birthday. it was so much fun to plan his party.

So enough of the detail shots here are some of my cutie little birthday boy! the star of the day :)

eating his birthday cake! yum yummy

out of all of his presents his favorite was a card from grandma- he wouldn’t let it go :)

yellow convertible from mommy & daddy

baby friends & mommas :)

all the crazy aunties.

a big huge THANK YOU to my best friend Jessica who helped make this day possible! she spent hours & many a phone conversation & pinterest text to help make shanes 1st birthday especially fabulous. she is such a talented party planner & just has a gift for these things. you are the best girl!

this last picture is so special to me:

justin & i both separately wrote what we wanted to say to shane & then sat to take our picture in the photobooth. we took a couple silly pictures & then i turned to justin to see what he wrote on his chalkboard & i look down & we both wrote the same thing- i could not even believe it because this isn’t really something that we have ever said to each other or to shane, but it is what we feel from the depth of our hearts- SHANE IS OUR JOY!

i could not be more thankful for my little joy. he has brought so much into my life & i am so thankful that i have been able to have him in my life for the last year. thank you baby boy for all the light & joy you bring to my life.

354 days.

My handsome peaceful little boy- 5 days young :)

I can not believe that my baby will be a year soon?!?! Where did 354 days go?Β  In less than two weeks my sweet little baby will be my big boy! I am starting to get so sentimental about everything- I mean even tv shows that were on when he was just a couple days old are bringing back memories of the first time I held him- how it felt to have all of my heart just resting against my chest for the first time, the sleepless nights, the immense love that I felt for the first time that He smiled at me, how when he first crawled (which really was like a catepillar crawl) to reach for a toy I was as proud as I have ever been. I know all of these memories are rushing back because I am relentlessly putting things together for his birthday party & going through tons of pictures & reliving a lot of AMAZING moments= & I don’t know whether to be happy or sad right now? I am happy because God has blessed me when an amazing year with my little family- & sad because this marks the end of something- the end of the first year with my Shane & Ill never have this special time back. & it really has been so special- there are hundreds of moments in this last year that I could never forgot…I have locked them away in my heart FOREVER-

Thank you God for 354 days with my baby boy- I am so grateful.

overwhelmed with kindness.

We have been in the process of getting a house for 9 months now- it has been a very trying process. We have been told so many times it was going to be one more week, 9 more days, 2 more weeks, 1 more month for what seems like a year now, but we finally have the whole process finished & it feels like such a relief & at the same time I am so thankful for these months that we have had to wait & patiently trust God that this was all going to work out in His timing. Today, was no exception: we found out last night that the bank was going to for close on our property if a good amount of money was not paid up on the 2nd loan that the previous owner took out. This was money that we could not give- we had to just trust that the bank would provide this money & they would not let the house go into forclosure. Well this morning we got an email from our realtor saying that she had forgone her commission so that the bank would not forclose on the house & we would be able to get the keys tomorrow… I immediately called her with tears in my eyes & gratefulness in my heart. I could not believe after ALL the hard work she had done to get us this house that she was willing to give up her commission just so that we could get it. Her testimony & kindness touched my life in such a powerful way- God knew that this would all happen & that her kindness would draw me closer to HIM. I am so thankful for the bond in Christ- the love that God has put in our hearts for other believers. This love was so evident today in the life of our realtor. I am praying that God will bless her above & beyond what she sacrificed for us. I know God provides for His children in the ways that he sees best & I have to always remind myself of that-

In the middle of this whole process of buying a short sale I would have said that I would NEVER attempt to do this again- it was emotionally trying & at times such a hassle, but with the way my heart was blessed today I wouldn’t change all of this for anything- I am so grateful for this whole experience for how it has brought me to trust in my savior that much more! God is always good in every circumstance- HEΒ  will prove himself faithful.