my little shane


shane justus,

you are a gift from God

the day i first met you i knew that God had a great plan for you life.

the way you smile at me makes my heart melt.

sometimes i worry that i will get sick & maybe even that someday you will have to live with out me. i don’t know what God has planned for our life & sometimes that scares me.

i know that you will grow up & there will be so many things that look better than the path that God has intended for you. remember that God made you for a special purpose & it doesn’t have to be something that everyone else deems “successful” God determines your success not this world,not money, not fame, & not other people.

someday people may be really mean to you even cruel. don’t turn resentful remember to pray for them because they are probably facing something harder than you can imagine.

someday you will have babies of your own & you will feel that unbelievable-uncondtional love of a parent & so many things that your dad & i have told you will make sense. all we have every wanted was the best for you & that is all you will ever want for your children.

you are a strong person. i can already tell. you get that from your dad. he is one of the strongest people i know. i am blessed to have you both in my life

you have a sensitive soul. God has given you that so that you will help others. i am just discovering why God has given me that same soul-so that you could feel other peoples pains & help make them a little easier.

there will be a lot of girls that you will think are beautiful, but wait for that one girl who captures your soul & your mind. she will be become more beautiful to you than any other girl. the truest beauty you can find in a girl is in her love for God, for others & for you. i know that she will be so special & will take care of you. the relationship i have with your dad is the most beautiful thing here on earth- i pray that you find that. i have faith that God will bring that to you.

& whoever you decide to love i will love because i know that by loving her i am loving you in return.

I love you, Shane. I am so happy to be your momma & I can not wait to see the beautiful story of your life unfold.


beautiful exchange.

[picture taken in June & with a little photoshop work]

I wanted to share something that really blessed me today. I pray that it touches you in the same way that it did me- God’s great LOVE. It really is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.


dear shane

Dear Shane,

You have been growing so much these last couple months & I can not believe all that you are learning. It seems like every morning when I wake up you have learned something new & it amazes me- you amaze me :) I am such a proud momma & I really can not help it.

God has blessed me with an amazing son. I hope that i NEVER lose sight of that- I want to always believe in you & always be there for you. I see so many parent/child relationships that are torn & at a distance. I pray that never happens with us- that both of our hearts will always be focused on Christ & that we will always be a close family.


I TREASURE our family. It is God’s greatest gift to me here on earth & I will always treasure it. I will pray for it. I will fight for it. I will sacrifice for it. I wanted to write you & tell you this in case I ever lose sight of that- Remind me. Remind me what I wrote to you. I pray that I can be the mom that you need & a mom that points your heart towards Christ- a mom that trusts you & that leads you to the truth.

I love you baby boy & I pray that I can be the mom that God has intended me to be :)

Love always,



as i was thinking about thanksgiving & everything that i am truly thankful for i came across this post over at the shine project & that is my inspiration for this post. i love how these questions really prompted me to think of all the things that i am thankful for this year- all that God has done in my life. so here are 15 questions to prompt your gratitude.

1. Who do I appreciate? God. my family. the people who sacrifice their life for my freedom.

2. How am I fortunate? i have everything i could ever ask for & everything that i could ever need. God has blessed me with an amazing marriage & husband- i feel so fortunate for this almost more than anything else in my life.

3. What material possessions am I thankful for? our beautiful house & my camera :

4. What abilities do I have that I’m grateful for? that i am have discovered the different ways God has blessed me with a creative mind & compassion for people around me.

5. What about my surroundings (home/neighborhood/city/etc.) am I thankful for? i love california. it is such a beautiful place to live. the weather is phenomenal- especially compared to connecticut where i i grew up. i couldn’t be happier to be living in “paradise”

6. What experiences have I had that I am grateful for? giving birth & becoming a mom- all of this bundled up into one has been the hardest thing i have ever gone through, but no one experience has ever made me more aware of God’s presence & greatness than having a little tiny human grow inside of me & watch grow & unfold before my eyes. i am so thankful for the opportunity to be a mom & see God’s amazing hand through my son.

7. What happened today/yesterday/this week/this month/this year that I am grateful for? God’s provision in my life this year is so evident. He has lead us to so many new paths & has been there for us every step of the way. God is always good.

8. What opportunities do I have that I am thankful for? the opportunity to be a mom has been one of my greatest joys this year. i am so blessed.

9. What have others in my life done that I am thankful for? people who have prayed for me. who have really reached out to God in my behalf & my families- prayer works miracles.

10. What have others done that I am benefiting from in my life (even if I don’t know who those people are)? i think about my husband & how hard he works so that i can stay at home with my son. sometimes i take this for granted, but i am so blessed to be able to not miss seeing my son grow up & raise him. my husband has sacrificed himself & works so hard to make this a reality- he is my hero & i love him so much :)

11. What relationships am I thankful for? God. i have no idea where i would be with out my relationship with Him. He is the only one that is always there for me & the only one i find complete comfort in- Thank you God for a personal relationship.

12. What am I taking for granted that, if I stop to think about it, I am grateful for? health. everyone around me is healthy & i take that for granted. my parents, justins parents, all of our families God have been blessed as of now with great health & i am so thankful.

13. What is there about the challenges/difficulties I have experienced (or am currently experiencing) that I can be thankful for? (e.g., What have I learned? How have I grown?)that they teach me to rely on God & realize that i can not control everything & even though times can be hard it is all a learning process.

14. What is different today than it was a year ago that I’m thankful for? so many things are different,but i am thankful to be at a better place than a year ago. i feel more alive & myself than i did a year ago just having my son & i am thankful.

15. What insights have I gained that I am grateful for? there are so many, but this year i feel like God has really taught me that this life is not about ME. it is about serving others & genuinely loving people around you in the little ways.

happy thanksgiving to you & your family. i hope today is a day that you can look back & cherish. i know that i am thankful for today & all the people that i am surrounded with this thanksgiving. with love,


the one you need.

the other day i was introduced to the worship band “shane & shane” well there music is amazing & their name even more amazing:):)

Β this song really hit home with me- please read the words they are beautiful. if you have children it will especially mean something to you.

Β i know that there will be times when i fail shane when i disappoint him. when he realizes my imperfections & that i am not the person that he can always rely on. this breaks my heart in some senses because i really wish i could be perfect for him that i would never hurt him or wrong him, but i know that i am only human. it makes me so thankful though that shane can have a relationship with someone that will NEVER fail him- can NEVER hurt him, can NEVER leave him, can NEVER forsake him, can NEVER disappoint him. this gives me so much strength as a mother knowing that God is seeking out shane- that He wants to have a relationship with him- He wants him to trust him. until the day that shane accepts God’s gift i will be praying & leading shane towards God’s love.

lyrics: the one you need// shane & shane

Hey, hey, sweet daugther
I am so proud to be your father
Each day’s like a gift from God.

Hey hey sweet daughter
There’s no music like your laughter
And your smile is like a rising sun.

You know I love you from the start
So come in close take my hand
While daddy shares his heart.

I wish that I could be your everything
Be the one who give you all the things you need
Sometimes I am gonna let you down
But there is a way if you just believe
He’ll be your hero like He’s always been for me
Daughter Jesus is the one you need.

No matter what you walk through
He will always love you
Just the way you are.

for there’s nothing in this world
There all for my baby girl
Until be happy ever after.

The history at your life still untold
I pray the King of all the universe, will make your heart His home.


overwhelmed with kindness.

We have been in the process of getting a house for 9 months now- it has been a very trying process. We have been told so many times it was going to be one more week, 9 more days, 2 more weeks, 1 more month for what seems like a year now, but we finally have the whole process finished & it feels like such a relief & at the same time I am so thankful for these months that we have had to wait & patiently trust God that this was all going to work out in His timing. Today, was no exception: we found out last night that the bank was going to for close on our property if a good amount of money was not paid up on the 2nd loan that the previous owner took out. This was money that we could not give- we had to just trust that the bank would provide this money & they would not let the house go into forclosure. Well this morning we got an email from our realtor saying that she had forgone her commission so that the bank would not forclose on the house & we would be able to get the keys tomorrow… I immediately called her with tears in my eyes & gratefulness in my heart. I could not believe after ALL the hard work she had done to get us this house that she was willing to give up her commission just so that we could get it. Her testimony & kindness touched my life in such a powerful way- God knew that this would all happen & that her kindness would draw me closer to HIM. I am so thankful for the bond in Christ- the love that God has put in our hearts for other believers. This love was so evident today in the life of our realtor. I am praying that God will bless her above & beyond what she sacrificed for us. I know God provides for His children in the ways that he sees best & I have to always remind myself of that-

In the middle of this whole process of buying a short sale I would have said that I would NEVER attempt to do this again- it was emotionally trying & at times such a hassle, but with the way my heart was blessed today I wouldn’t change all of this for anything- I am so grateful for this whole experience for how it has brought me to trust in my savior that much more! God is always good in every circumstance- HEΒ  will prove himself faithful.

Unconditional love


I have started writing to you because I want you to always know how much your daddy & I love you! As you get older there are going to be things that we will tell you that you won’t understand, but I want you to always know that we have your best interest at heart.

I am so thankful for your little life! Becoming a mommy has grown me in ways i did not even know possible. You are such a joy to your dad & me :) We just love seeing you laugh & smile. You are our favorite person to be with. You are God’s special gift to us here on earth.

Becoming a mommy has taught me so many things, but the greatest truth I have come to learn is God’s amazing, unconditional love to send His only son for our sins! Shane, I would not sacrifice your life for anyone- I would never even consider it. Someday when you are a father you will understand the deep unconditional love you have for your child, but God loved us so much that He put the sins of all the world on His perfect, sinless Son as a gift to you and me. I pray everyday that you will accept God’s gift of His Son. There is nothing in this world that would make me happier than knowing that you have a haeart that loves & trust’s in God.

I love you baby boy,

xoxo Mommy

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.”