19 months & learning

life lately with my little man has been such a joy. i am really enjoying all this alone time that we have right now. i know that someday it won’t just be the two of us running around doing errand, exploring, or enjoying ourselves at the park.

& it makes me stop & think & i feel so blessed that God has give me Shane to take care of- i know that every parent must think this,but i know that God gave me someone very special to look after- this little guy lights up a room & knows just what to do to make everyone smile. i really could not ask for a better little man.

& did i mention how much fun this toddler stage is! i really believe he is learning something new every day: as of today he can

-say: mama, da!!!!(not dadda, not daddy, just daaa & he always screams it), wawa(water), cheese, apple,nana (banana),choo choo, girl, hot, cold,ball, elmo, boy, ookie (cookie), more,book,ampa (grandpa),nana, ama (grandma),papa,up,mama,mama,mama…& he usually will repeat words if i tell him to say them, but these are the regulars in his vocabulary as of now.

-he climbs-on everything & tries to surf on his rocking chair

-kick a ball & throw it

-eat on his own

-give hugs & kisses to us & random kids at the park

-sings & dances whenever there is music & he has the moves

-loves the water (the bath, a sprinkler, a water fountain, a pond, any form of water)

-can spin

-can walk his doggies

-can give high-five & knuckles

-can fold his hands when we pray

some of his favorite this right now are:

-the park, the playhouse at the gym, elmo, fruit, sweet potatoes, chicken, his blankie & paci, reading & especially “i love you through & through”, & walking his doggies

he is just learning so much from justin & i & it is so amazing to watch a child transform in front of you & knowing that the influence that you have on this very special life will be forever-blessed.

he is just learning so much from justin & i & it is so amazing to watch a child transform in front of you & knowing that the influence that you have on this very special life will be forever-blessed.

happy thursday & happy 19th month to my little man!


my little shane


shane justus,

you are a gift from God

the day i first met you i knew that God had a great plan for you life.

the way you smile at me makes my heart melt.

sometimes i worry that i will get sick & maybe even that someday you will have to live with out me. i don’t know what God has planned for our life & sometimes that scares me.

i know that you will grow up & there will be so many things that look better than the path that God has intended for you. remember that God made you for a special purpose & it doesn’t have to be something that everyone else deems “successful” God determines your success not this world,not money, not fame, & not other people.

someday people may be really mean to you even cruel. don’t turn resentful remember to pray for them because they are probably facing something harder than you can imagine.

someday you will have babies of your own & you will feel that unbelievable-uncondtional love of a parent & so many things that your dad & i have told you will make sense. all we have every wanted was the best for you & that is all you will ever want for your children.

you are a strong person. i can already tell. you get that from your dad. he is one of the strongest people i know. i am blessed to have you both in my life

you have a sensitive soul. God has given you that so that you will help others. i am just discovering why God has given me that same soul-so that you could feel other peoples pains & help make them a little easier.

there will be a lot of girls that you will think are beautiful, but wait for that one girl who captures your soul & your mind. she will be become more beautiful to you than any other girl. the truest beauty you can find in a girl is in her love for God, for others & for you. i know that she will be so special & will take care of you. the relationship i have with your dad is the most beautiful thing here on earth- i pray that you find that. i have faith that God will bring that to you.

& whoever you decide to love i will love because i know that by loving her i am loving you in return.

I love you, Shane. I am so happy to be your momma & I can not wait to see the beautiful story of your life unfold.


dear shane

Dear Shane,

You have been growing so much these last couple months & I can not believe all that you are learning. It seems like every morning when I wake up you have learned something new & it amazes me- you amaze me :) I am such a proud momma & I really can not help it.

God has blessed me with an amazing son. I hope that i NEVER lose sight of that- I want to always believe in you & always be there for you. I see so many parent/child relationships that are torn & at a distance. I pray that never happens with us- that both of our hearts will always be focused on Christ & that we will always be a close family.


I TREASURE our family. It is God’s greatest gift to me here on earth & I will always treasure it. I will pray for it. I will fight for it. I will sacrifice for it. I wanted to write you & tell you this in case I ever lose sight of that- Remind me. Remind me what I wrote to you. I pray that I can be the mom that you need & a mom that points your heart towards Christ- a mom that trusts you & that leads you to the truth.

I love you baby boy & I pray that I can be the mom that God has intended me to be :)

Love always,


my dream for you


sometimes i wonder what you will be like when you are older? what you will look like? what you will act like? what kind of person that you will be? what kind of relationship we will have? where you will live? what you will do with your life? if you will get married? how many kids you have? ( i hope a lot :))

i dream for you. i dream that your life will be lived & that others will know that you lived. that you will chase your dreams & know that you can achieve ANYTHING you set your mind to. i want you to always remember that i believe in you & believe that you can become anything you set your mind out to be.

my dreams for you:

i dream that you will be honest

i dream that you will have strong character

i dream that you will love God with all your heart

i dream that you will treat people with respect

i dream that you will find what you LOVE & chase that with your WHOLE heart

i dream that you will grow to be a strong, healthy man

i dream that you will have a wife & family to love & to love you

i dream that you life will matter for eternity

i dream that you will make a difference here on this earth

i dream that you will believe in yourself & that talents that God has blessed you with

i dream that you will never lose your sensitive heart

i dream that you will try your best to be the best that you can be.

i dream because i believe in you- i believe that you will be able to do ANYTHING. i am so excited to see all the great things that you will do with the life God has blessed you with & always remember it is from God :) i love you with all my heart forever & ever.


mommy :)

shane i worry.


I worry about you. I have come to find out that this is just what I do as a mommy.

Before you were born I worried that you were too small. I worried if I didn’t feel you kick “12” times in your most active hour that something was wrong. I worried I didn’t eat enough(hence to 47 lbs. I gained with you :/). I worried that if I took a bath that you would boil. I worried that if I had caffeine you would have ADD & it would be all my fault. I worried that you wouldn’t be okay while I was giving birth. I worried your entire birth that your heart rate would never stabilize.

And then after you were born I worried some more-I worried you would just stop breathing( & I would wake up every hour just to make sure you were still breathing). I worried your swaddling blanket would suffocate you. I worried that you weren’t eating enough. I worried that you would never roll over. I worried that you weren’t big enough. I worried that someone would drop you & that someone would be me! I worried that your eyes would never focus- you were crossed-eyed for awhile there. I worried that you spit up too much. I worried that you would never let me get sleep again-(haha, but you did & I am so proud of you for that :)! )

Now, I worry that you are still not eating enough. I worry if I am giving you enough vegetables- you like fruit so much better & sometimes it is just easier. I worry that I am not reading to you enough. I worry that I let you watch TV it is only baby einstein & it is only every once in awhile, but I still worry! I worry that you aren’t growing fast enough. I worry that I do not pray for you enough. I worry that I am not a good enough mom for you. I worry that you are bored. I worry that you will get sick. I worry that you will bump your head on our fireplace of DEATH-all brickΒ  & sharp corners make for a dangerous spot for a baby to be playing! Don’t worry though because I surround it with pillows every morning :)

But, after all this worrying I have come to realize that it is not my job to worry about you- you are God’s & He has given you to me as a gift here on earth to take care of & even though SO MANY times I am tempted to worry, worry, worry I need to just let go of my worries & give them to God. I have to remind myself of this every day-!Β  My concern for you will never stop because you are part of me- you have my heart & that will never change, but to the best of my ability I am trying to stop worrying about so many things. I love you little man & I want to be the best mommy I can be for you!


Your mommy

Philippian 4:6 ” Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God “

Unconditional love


I have started writing to you because I want you to always know how much your daddy & I love you! As you get older there are going to be things that we will tell you that you won’t understand, but I want you to always know that we have your best interest at heart.

I am so thankful for your little life! Becoming a mommy has grown me in ways i did not even know possible. You are such a joy to your dad & me :) We just love seeing you laugh & smile. You are our favorite person to be with. You are God’s special gift to us here on earth.

Becoming a mommy has taught me so many things, but the greatest truth I have come to learn is God’s amazing, unconditional love to send His only son for our sins! Shane, I would not sacrifice your life for anyone- I would never even consider it. Someday when you are a father you will understand the deep unconditional love you have for your child, but God loved us so much that He put the sins of all the world on His perfect, sinless Son as a gift to you and me. I pray everyday that you will accept God’s gift of His Son. There is nothing in this world that would make me happier than knowing that you have a haeart that loves & trust’s in God.

I love you baby boy,

xoxo Mommy

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.”